As many of you know (and even if you don't...you will know when you're done reading THIS)...
I HATE what we are required to do b/c "No Child Left Behind" was put into effect during the reign of our Beloved President Bush.
All week (and several days next week, too), I spend 2 and a half hours with a group of 20 eighth graders, who have a booklet to fill out (and not all of it is bubble-in, either) that is at LEAST 2 inches thick. NO JOKE...it is ridiculous. I could go ON AND ON AND ON about this test, and how there is NO WAY IN H-E-L-L that 100% of the kids in this nation are going to be proficient in Language Arts, Science, & Math. "Everyone" includes special needs children and ELLs as well. I can't even begin to enlighten you on the steam that I have raging inside of me right now.
What's even worse...the daily schedule is ALL SCREWY, and the hour that got short-changed these 2 weeks is first hour, my planning/preparation hour. I can't tell you how frazzled I get by the end of the day w/ all of my classes out-of-order, and with 9 hours straight of teaching and testing. It is just NOT right, and not normal, that's for sure.
On a lighter note, I was sent an email this week that put a small smile on my face, and I just wanted to share with you some of the MAP testing protocol we are asked to observe. Let me know what you think!
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MAP Severe Weather Testing Protocols
1. Should a severe weather situation occur during testing, please remain calm. To display any kind of anxiety would be a testing irregularity and must be reported.
2. Please do not look out the window to watch for approaching tornadoes. You must monitor the students at all times. To do otherwise would be a testing irregularity and must be reported.
3. Should students notice an approaching tornado and begin to cry, please make every effort to protect their testing materials from the flow of tears and sinus drainage.
4. Should a flying object come through your window during testing, please make every effort to ensure that it does not land on a testing booklet or an answer sheet. Please make sure to soften the landing of the flying object so that it will not disturb the students while testing.
5. Should shards of glass from a broken window come flying into the room, have the students use their bodies to shield their testing materials so that they will not be damaged. Have plenty of gauze on hand to ensure that no one accidentally bleeds on the answer documents. Damaged answer sheets will not scan properly.
6. Should gale force winds ensue, please have everyone stuff their test booklets and answer sheets into their shirts, being very careful not to bend them because bent answer documents will not scan properly.
7. If any student gets sucked into the vortex of the funnel cloud, please make sure they mark at least one answer before departing, and of course make sure they leave their answer sheets and test booklets behind. You will have to account for those.
8. Should a funnel cloud pick you, the test administrator, up and take you flying over the rainbow, you will still be required to account for all of your testing materials when you land so please take extra precautions. Remember, once you have checked them out, they should never leave your hands.
9. When rescue workers arrive to dig you out of the rubble, please make sure that they do not, at any time, look at or handle the testing materials. Once you have been treated for your injuries, you will still be responsible for checking your materials back in. Search dogs will not be
allowed to sift through the rubble for lost tests, unless of course they have been through standardized test training.
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7 comments:
Jeez. Mine's not that bad yet. We're not testing for another month. We figured we'd intensely review as soon as they got back from Spring Break so they don't forget it all completely before they test. And we're doing everything on the computer. Yep. Everything on the computer. I love title 1 this time of year.....
I hear you! Try hearding 29 first graders down the hall well with the counselor and nicely decorated signs SHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-ing you the whole way. Our building completely freaks out during the WASL (our state test). Because our school is state ranked it's a huge deal. Ha, too bad I'll miss it this year! :) Shucks!
Ug. I remember MAP. I remember that my honors English teacher told me that we didn't have to worry about the tests because it was all a load of bunk anyway. We all did poorly that year on the test.
I want to take MAP testing and torture it till it's dead, revive it and then torture it to death again.
Maybe that is a little violent, but I can't help myself.
You had me at sinus drainage.
I personally think that a child's education is PRIMARILY the responsibility of the parent, and the educator is there to supplement and reinforce.
Que piensas tu? Es posible q' estoy equivocada?
Yeah, I thought the I-STEP was bad (maybe it is just as bad, but I don't think it could be worse than what the MAP seems to be putting you through). To be fair, as much as it may suck, I think Missouri is doing much better nationally than Indiana is, so maybe there is some tiny benefit to the insanity of the testing? No, never mind. the testing has little to nothing to do with that. Missouri must have better teachers. Or perhaps overall the administrators have their priorities straight, unlike here. Alas. Somehow, teachers really should be compensated for all the BS we have to go through to make sure "No Child [is] Left Behind..." I think a paid vacation to Europe for a few weeks would do the trick. ;)
Sorry about the sucky testing. Just remember to breathe (but not on the tests or answer sheets as they may cause a testing irregularity and would have to be reported...)
Babe, you need to SIMMER DOWN, CUR-TIS!!!!
Elise already tipped you off to ISTEP, but what she failed to mention is that we get to experience it TWICE this year!! Actually, you could consider it 3 times because the spring administration is split into a week at the beginning of March for open-ended (aka essay/short answer - don't forget to show your work!)and a week of so at the beginning of May for multiple choice (aka bubble). All because Indiana decided to transition the test from fall administration to spring administration (and heaven forbid we let more than a year go by in between)
And by all reports, the elementary ISTEP tests were IMPOSSIBLY hard - kids in *tears* - I'm not kidding. Oh, and at the end of Feb/beginning of March, there are still 60-ish days of school left, so of course not all of the material has been covered yet...
And as an itinerant staff member, my schedule gets all whacked out, as well.
So I'm feeling your pain (and will be again in just a few short weeks!)
Hang in there. Summer's almost here
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