My Summer Pledge!

Spring has DEFINITELY arrived, and with it comes

all kinds of TOES!  That's right...some nice, and others...well,

NOT-SO-NICE...

My friend, Beverly took the pledge on her blog, and I've decided to do the same. This is one of my BIGGEST pet peaves.  Honestly, I haven't worn sandles until TODAY, just because my toes were not up to par. Honestly, I don't think sandles were invented for EVERYONE (sorry if I've hurt your feelings, but it's the truth)...just like bikinis weren't made for the XXXXXXL lady, either. My hubby disagrees and says he'll proudly show off his ugly feet, just so long as his feet don't sweat in the humid state of Missouri. However, as long as he chooses to "air out his ugly feet", I will choose to comment on them as I please.  That's just the way it is.

So here goes...I am taking the pledge...will YOU?

Ladies, PLEASE, raise your big toes and repeat after me below... 


The Open Toed Shoe Pledge

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As a member of the Cute Girl Sisterhood, I pledge to follow the Rules when wearing sandals and other open-toe shoes:

I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My toes will not hang over and touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs. And the sides and tops of my feet will not pudge out between the straps.

I will go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact and chip-free.
I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe.

I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow.

I will shave the hairs off my big toe.

I won't wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend, coworker, mother, sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it there. 

If a strap breaks, I won't duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it back! into place hoping it will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or toss it.

I will not live in corn denial; rather I will lean on my good friend Dr. Scholl's if my feet need him.

I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless for the low, low price of $4.99 even if my feet are small enough to fit into the kids' sizes. This is out of concern for my safety, and the safety of others. No one can walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat and I would hate to take someone down with me as I fall and break my ankle.

I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes swell and begin to look like Vienna sausages.

I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend/sister/coworker when she asks me if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals. Someone has to tell her that her toes are as long as my fingers and no sandal makes creepy feet look good. 

I will promise if I wear flip flops that I will ensure that they actually flip and flop, making the correct noise while walking and I will swear NOT to slide or drag my feet while wearing them. 

I will promise to go to my local nail salon at least once per season and have a real pedicure (they are about $20 or $25 and worth EVERY penny). 

I will promise to throw away any white/off-white sandals that show signs of wear... nothing is tackier than dirty white sandals.

There you have it, ladies.  A pledge straight from down south.  And you know how we are...just good 'ol picky southerners who don't leave the house w/o their hair done and makeup on. Although I'm not as extreme as I once was (thanks to living in Chile for a few years), I still have to have my toes painted, especially in the summer time. I guess I'll never understand, nor do I entend to try understand, how it feels to show off feet that should be kept hidden underneath socks.

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So which club do you belong to, anyway....

THIS club....with nasty toenails THIS club with dried up toenails & a few funky ET toes

THIS club...of obsessive art & decoration

or THIS CLUB where they just PLAIN Jane

No matter what Club you belong to, I understand that most of us can't change clubs. We are born a certain way, and heaven forbid we try to have plastic surgery on our toes just so we can fit into another category. 

All I'm saying, I guess...is that if you KNOW you have UGLY toes, please do youself a favor as well as those of us who are around you, and COVER them up or get a freakin pedicure occasionally.  

Me...you ask? What Club do I belong to? I'm somewhere in the middle of the last two clubs...I love to have them painted, but not with lace, jewels, or stickers. I go for natural colors mostly. 2 layers of color first, then a thick coat of "top coat" clear polish. That way, they rarely chip, and the color stays nice and bright for about 2-3 weeks before having to redo it.  I was blessed with cute toes (as long as I trim them regularly, and keep them looking nice. My husband (who is sadly a member of the dried up toenail club) , my sister Andrea (who is a crazy member of the funky ET toe club...that's right...her 4th toe is shaped like ET's head) and my mother (let's not talk about HER toes, cuz she's a member of all kinds of nasty toe clubs along with the no-toenail-club) unfortunately were not so blessed in the TOE area. And even though all three of them still wear sandals, I try my best to look the other way before I get too nautious...YUCK!