30 Days of Truth: Day 1

DAY 1: Something I hate about myself

I HATE that I have psoriasis.

I have my father and his side of the family tree to thank for that. Growing up, my Uncle David had it pretty bad. It covered his elbows...this pink skin with white scales on the outside. I had no idea it ran in the family, and until about 8 months ago, I was in the clear. My sister has it pretty bad. What makes it worse is that she doesn't really take care of it like she should...so you can see it on her scalp, elbows, legs, arms....just about everywhere. Recently my dad told me he's had a few spots pop up but has been lucky enough that Eurcerin lotion is all it took to clear it up.

Around November of last year, I noticed my scalp was itchy. I use salon shampoo, so it was pretty odd that I would have such a thing. I didn't realize it bothered me so bad, until I was sitting in class one day, in front of my Jr. high schoolers, and I was itching my head. I wasn't really noticing what I was doing...we were in the middle of a reading activity. Then, in a fairly loud voice...a girl sitting close to me said, "Ewwww...you have blood on your finger"...and that was when it all began. I had been picking at several places on my scalp for quite some time, evidently. When I saw it, I knew what it was. And upon further investigation of my body, I found that I had several spots....on my legs, & upper arms. The dermatologist confirmed it...I had psoriasis, and there is NO cure for it.

So...what is it exactly? Well...I told you what it looks like. It's not life-threatening, but it looks horrible. It's embarrassing to look at, and embarrassing when I get my hair done (good thing my hair stylist understands it). It's not contagious....but is a genetic disorder. UV rays help to diminish the horrible look of it...my doc even recommended being in the sun when I can, and even visiting the tanning bed regularly when I can't (winter, etc).

Wanna know the WORST part? It is common to have it under your fingernails. Every time I've gone in (both to the derm. and my regular doc), they look closely at my fingernails (don't have much to look at...I bite them!!!). But about a month ago, I noticed these hole-like marks on one nail. There were a few, then they quickly spread. Then I noticed I bit at it more, and it was bothering me. Then, the white tip on the end started taking "dips".....and instead of it being an "outline" in a cresent-like shape, it is a thin outline with potholes that go back pretty far. It looks disgusting!!! So...I went in to see about it, and I got an injection...and YIKES, did it ever hurt!!! She said it would go away, but it would take 6-8 weeks to notice a difference b/c a new nail has to grow in. I HATE needles!!!!! Try having someone stick a needle in your finger about 1.5 inches!!!!! It is not pleasant, lemme tell ya. I said some words I shouldn't have said. Now my nail bed is a blackish-blue color. yuck!

So, I start school in one week....try teaching junior high kiddos (who tell you exactly what they are thinking...no holding back), with an ugly fingernail that looks like I've slammed it in a door, been gobbled up mostly by a wretched rodent, and for what's left...someone took ball point pens and poked them into my nail leaving marks all over it.

GRRRRRREAT start to the year.

(side note: my case of the ugly syndrome isn't NEAR as bad as any of the above pics. Except for the fingernail....thank goodness I only have one that's like that...but mine is pretty close to the pic above!! gross, I know.)